Me: Urban Cookie has the new fall flavors out! You need to try the caramel apple, it’s AMAZING.
Ryan: Everything they make is amazing. They kick Sprinkles’ ass.
Me: Sprinkles is a stupid name, anyway. It’s a name for the world’s shittiest pony.
Ryan: I think my daughter had that My Little Pony.
Me: Was its Cutie Mark a dick?
Ryan: If it was, I’d buy twelve of them.
Me: As long as I get one of them.
Ryan: Fine. Thirteen.
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
That’s a lot of horse cock for a Saturday afternoon.
It posted at 8:40am…I like to get an early jump on the horse cock.
(Yes, I reread that, and yes, I see what I did there, and frankly, it amuses the fuck outta me, so I’m leaving it. Besides, you’re a dirty bastard like me, so you won’t be offended.)
Oh sweet lord. Ryan is a lucky man. 😀
I’m printing this and showing him. “SEE!?”
Still laughing.
YESSSSS!!!
Please note a respectful lack of Catherine the Great jokes.
I agree with John about Ryan being a lucky man. Wait, my friend Sara has a boyfriend named Ryan also… I guess you wouldn’t be the one to ask about why guys named Ryan get the best women. I’m too damn old to change my name, too.
LMAO…trust me, I’m a giant pain in the ass. I’m just lucky he hasn’t smothered me in my sleep.
You’re kind of proving my point, but OK…
You know you’re encouraging me to be MORE difficult, right? 🙂
Maybe, but self-awareness goes a long way with me. Besides, I said Ryan was lucky, no-one said anything about it being easy…
LOL…Poor, poor man.
I thought it was unicorn poop for sure. And then I saw the cherry on top. In all of my years of wandering in the wilderness, I’ve never seen a cherry on top of unicorn poop.–Curt
Narwhal turds?
Maybe. There was one at Burning Man that looked capable. They would have been big, however, elephant big.