PWDUB=Person Who Doesn’t Understand Bumper Stickers
PWDUB: “I didn’t realize you were gay.”
Me: (pause) “Well….that’s two of us.”
PWDUB: “Huh?”
Me: “I’m not gay.”
PWDUB: “Oh…but that sticker on your car…I thought…”
Me: “That sticker means I support equal human rights.”
PWDUB: “Oh…I thought…but, you’re always posting on Facebook about…
Me: “Yeah, that stuff doesn’t mean I’m gay…it means I’m not a dick.”
(the most awkward pause of all time…)
Me: “So…wanna talk about how much I love penis, or were you hoping to ask me if you could borrow my Indigo Girls album, and I just ruined everything?”
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
OMG! The stitch in my side from laughing so hard is killing me! 🙂
Yea! 🙂 While I don’t wish to cause you pain…I’m still pleased.
Lol!
🙂
LMAO! Now THAT was funny! But hey…I fart rainbows and I have never been accused of being gay. I have been propositioned before, but never really accused of being gay 🙂
I guess my thing was…if the same person was looking at my opinions on racial equality…they wouldn’t assume I was black. (okay, so maybe it’s because I’m borderline translucent, but you really NEVER know)
Wait. So you’re not gay? WTF? Now who the fuck am I going to talk to about the LPGA?
And this post was really funny.
Unless you want to discuss how good Rory looks in white pants…I know nothing. Conversely, if you’d like to talk about how fucking adorable Brittney Griner and Glory Johnson are together…that’s a topic I can discuss. (answer: SOOOOO fucking adorable)
OK lesson learned… Never read your blog while sipping a beverage. I reached Indigo Girls and it got messy. I am going to hold you personally responsible if any of my number keys stick 🙂
Riiiiiight, THAT’S why your keys are sticky. Mmmmhmmmm.
Ok you got me… cupcakes while blogging… been trying to kick the habit.. unless you meant…. ewwwww… 🙂
Ha ha ha ha!!!
wow. just wow.
Nice. I think I’d like to hang out with you and your friends.
We’re the worst…but we have cookies.
Now I totally want to hang out!
Right? Fuckin’ cookies!
I’ll bring ice cream, Slurpees, and assorted candies. We are set.
😀 Nice one.
Here it is the other way round. My friend keeps waving his rainbow wallet at everyone’s face and the only reaction he ever gets is ‘wow!!! that is a cool wallet, where can I get one ? ”
LMAO. Um…you can get one at the gay bar…when you join and you get your card that certifies you as official.
In all seriousness…I do love a good rainbow. Pure awesomeness.
Yup 🙂
Oh my god. So much yes (not the band) right now. Although…the band might just dovetail nicely….
Annnnd now I have Owner Of A Lonely Heart in my head. 🙂
Ahahahaaha. Oh yeah…! Hopefully, the Kool Aidguy will now be a part of that!
DOHHHH!!!! You are the meanest! 🙂
Older Yes sounds gayer. I know that because I’ve seen them seven times. And some of us old straight guys actually like the Indigo Girls. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, gay people. Well, I did move from the boonies to the Bay Area 30 years ago.
I love Indigo Girls. They’re the sound of undergrad to me. 🙂
I saw them once, at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. Not only did they put on a great show, but there were more beautiful women there than any other place I’ve been in my life.
You sound like me with regards to hot men in Amsterdam. Seriously…a country full of 6’4″ J Crew models.
Rainbows are a gay thing? So “taste the rainbow” means…? Wowzers!
Rainbows are just pure awesome. Skittles? Skittles only exist so I can have candy on my desk for kids, that I won’t eat. If it’s not chocolate…why bother. 🙂
Agreed. Have a 95-year-old friend healthier than others 25 years younger, and she looks that young. She eats the ideal Mediterranean diet–has always. But her real secret, I believe, is that she scarfs down a nightly chocolate bar like a snake unhinging for a horse 🙂
P.S. One never knows when communicating with a non-intimate in text alone how it will be interpreted at the other end. You DID know I DID know already about rainbows being a gay pride symbol…?
LOL…I figured you knew, because if you didn’t, I’d like to know how you got wireless in the cave you were living in. 🙂
Fuck…now I want chocolate. ALL YOUR FAULT! 🙂
My work is done here.
this has absolutely nothing to do with the post (which is obviously awesome always) but I love Outlier’s gravatar so much that i must have it! LOVE it! Did you hear me?
I bet she’d let you have it every other weekend and on some holidays, if you paid for it to go to private school. 🙂
paid for private school with what? the good looks I lost 20 years ago?
Bravo!
🙂
“…it means I’m not a dick.”
This is now my answer to every person who looks sideways at my parenting style.
I know from experience, but you need a PSA about not drinking anything while reading your blog.
On the contrary…I think that having a snoot-full of vodka is sort of a necessary precursor to reading my blog.
🙂
Hahahahahaha I just love your stuff. Touché
En garde! Wait…epee, yes? 🙂
(THANK YOU!)
Yw 🙂
All I can think about is the Sarah Silverman Show:
“We went to see the Doctor of Philosophy, and he said, ‘What are YOU doin’ here, LESBO?'”
Lol…and now I have to watch that.
Freakin’ fantastic, I tell you.
LOL the only thing more terrific than your take-down of that dimwit is… no, wait, there’s NOTHING more terrific than that!
1. I heart you. 2. Wanna talk about dicks, again? 🙂
Well I don’t know about you, but I personally consider a day wasted if I haven’t had at least one heartfelt and lengthy conversation about dicks
It’s like vitamins…or an apple…or dicks.
Who are you? Other than the raddest human on the web.
The check…you want me to send it where? 🙂