Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just not that girly. I’m basically a dude with boobs.”
Ryan: “I disagree. Yes, you can be a bit of a dude, but you can also be very girly. Strangely, sometimes, you’re both masculine and feminine, at exactly same time.”
Me: “How is that even remotely possible?”
Ryan: “Last week, you told me to change the channel because you said you were about to cry because, ‘A dog looked sad.'”
Me: “Where’s the masculine part?”
Ryan: “You told me if I didn’t turn the channel quickly, you’d, ‘Punch me in the dick.'”
Me: “Point taken.”
**For the record, I would never punch him, let alone in the dick, and he knows that it’s a figure of speech. I don’t support domestic violence in any way, especially in a manner that might impact my sex life**
43 thoughts on “I Also Put Sequins On My Jock Strap”
I love these daily bits of… whatever they are.
I believe the word you’re looking for is “nonsense”. 🙂
Thanks for the nonsense. Keep it coming.
As Dr. Zachary Smith would say to Robot, “Oh, the pain. The pain.”
The original “Lost in Space!!”. Doesn’t date me much tho, right?
Classic in the sense of Bronte, right? 🙂
I’m so glad you write this shit down.
LOL…I just wish I remembered half the stuff I should write down.
You can enthral the young ones with these gems, years from now. They’ll thank you … maybe.
May none of our children ever know who we truly are. lol
Yay! Another girl like me! 😀
Another dog-saver, dick-puncher! We’re takin’ over the world! 🙂
I was doing something obnoxious to my wife (I know, surprising huh?) as we were standing by the front door of our apartment. I may have been threatening to punch her in the tit (jokingly) for some reason or other. She told me to “knock it off or I’ll kick you in the cock.” We walked out the door only to see our neighbour walking into his suite. He heard us, or at least he heard her. We live in a really nice building and tit punching and cock kicking is out of place there. We both laughed til we had tears.
You’re the reason why some building have Housing Boards. LOL
What’s not feminine about threatening to punch someone who’s not giving you your way quickly enough in his dick?
Must be you know different women than I do…
Could you please direct her to myself and DMC…we’re starting a club.
DMC the video game, the DJ contest, or the needle and thread supplier?
The girl who writes this blog…
Your “nonsense” never fails to make me laugh 🙂 Thanks!
Awww, thanks, Hooky Booky. 🙂
Bahahahaha. Fucking brilliant. I especially like how you make it clear that you were speaking figuratively. Keep up the fine work!
Well, I don’t want someone to think I’m a sexual sadist. Okay…I don’t want you guys to KNOW I’m a sexual sadist. lol
Bahahaha. Too good!
Great post! Such figures of speech are absolutely necessary to tame the savage beasts, control chaos, teach obedience without question of authority, and to get the channel changed before drama erupts. Threatened with the same, I would probably even load the dishwasher and take out the garbage before the garbage pick up past hastily by me, huffing and puffing under strain in the driveway as usual. 😉
You just totally reminded me of twenty things I need to do. 🙂
Ruh Roooh Scoobie! Hope that’s a good thang 🙂
Oh my god, you ARE a dude! I knew it! Just kidding. Also, I’m wearing a cup right now, so buyer beware…
Yes…but is it bedazzled!?
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
This is why we’re friends.
LOL Oh come on… when are you going to publish these in a book? I’d buy it… as long as you buy mine too 😉
Just as soon as someone wants to pay to put it in binding. lol And DEAL! 🙂
Use Createspace and sell it on Amazon. I did.
Hi MEGLYMC. I am glad you are so gentle with delicate instruments. Thank you so much for calling by and wanting to follow my poetry adventures. Be Safe and well. The Foureyed Poet.
Hahaha. Right on. I mean, really, why do we choose one or the other? 😉
Exactly, by choosing both, we have more options. 🙂