My daughter, the soon to be fifteen-year-old, texting me from drama camp… Note: my daughter and I both have very similar senses of humor, and she knows I think she’s amazing, so don’t send me crazy messages about how we call each other names…we like it…it works for us.
Caolinn: Mom…Mom…Mom
Caolinn: Mom.
Caolinn: MOOOOOOMMMMM!!!
Me: For the love of God, what!?
Caolinn: Pizza Hut took the cookie pizza thing from the Domino’s ad and made it into a thing and I need it NOW.
Me: Ha ha!
Caolinn: Mom, I actually need it. Please take me to get one and I’ll give you ALL MY QUARTERS.
Me: Define “need”.
Caolinn: Need as in I’ll die if I don’t get it. I will legitimately cease to exist.
Me: I’ll think about it, freakshow.
Caolinn: I’m not a freakshow, I’m a trendsetter, Mother, and I’m also hungry and it’s a goddamn cookie pizza. How do you not see how IMPORTANT this is!?
Me: Jesus Christ…fine…I’ll get you the cookie pizza.
Caolinn: OH MY GOD!!! I CAN’T EVEN…I’M SO EXCITED THAT I’M HYPERVENTILATING.
Me: I think when you get home, we need to discuss the impact that drama camp is having on you, and whether this is a good thing for you to be in, or not.
Caolinn: Can’t…breathe…so….happy…
Me: *sigh*
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
“And it’s a god damned cookie pizza.” I…can’t breathe…the laughing. She’s awesome!
RIGHT!? Totally earned that shit…I don’t even take her quarters.
Love, love, love!
Sadly, the conversation is continuing on my phone…I’m crying because she’s so funny.
You are so, so lucky!
*tear*
OMG like any teenage girl needs drama camp!!
(This from a woman who went to art and music camp and has spent her share of time onstage…so I know of what I speak).
Right!? This is not a skill we need to hone…AT ALL.
I love it Meg!! Now I want to go to drama camp!!!
Diana xo
Awesome! I’ll see if they have a spot, and we can go halvsies on the novelty pizza products!
The graphic made me laugh out loud. Oh cocaine how you fail us so.
LOL…okay, that comment made my day.
Effing love it!!
You get a slice of cookie pizza!
This is so many kinds of fabulous. To hell with people that don’t get why it’s funny to call your kid freak show 🙂
She doesn’t care what you call her, as long as she gets effing dessert. Lol
Hang on, hang on, hang on! Cookie Pizza, overly dramatic theatrics, and a mother/daughter war of words?!?! Can eyes have an orgasm? Cuz I think mine just did… and there’s this strange bodily fluid leaking from it.
On a serious note, though, is a cookie pizza a thing? Because, if it is, I’ve never needed something in my life as much as I do with this right now!
It’s a magical trifecta, right!?
Bitch…it’s a thing…an ACTUAL thing…and I’m about to eat it. WHOOO HOOO!!!
If you take me to get one of those magically delicious miracle creations, I will give you my most prized possession!! (which may or may not be a half-eaten Pringles chip with a BBQ smudge in the likeness of a hungover Jesus)
1. I just ate it…I’d rather have a cookie from Paradise Bakery…even the teenager called it “Mehhhh…”, but at least she’s off my ass.
2. That better be in a shadow box with professional framing.
Love this so much! And now I too have a hankering for cookie pizza…
It was okay…not amazing, but good. She was slightly disappointed, because it sounded miraculous in theory. lol
This is so awesome. 🙂
Annnnd Nicole gets a slice.
Oh my word. This kind of humor, the world needs more of it. Thanks for bringing a laugh to the morning!
🙂 Fiiiiine…two slices.
🙂
😀 That’s one funny kid !!!!!! 😀
Total keeper. 🙂
That’s sweet! I don’t like the sound of a “cookie pizza” though.
Just as well, it didn’t quite live up to the hype. 🙂
One awesome kid. You are a very lucky mom.
Completely…I should have gotten a female Hitler, but somehow the universe is forgiving.
Love it! I’ll admit, I act the same way with my own mom. Even the language: “I CAN’T EVEN!!”
LOL…See…and you turned out just fine! 🙂
So funny! Love your humour and completely appreciate the way you relate to your daughter. My 4 year old daughter is so dramatic and I wondered if she’d enjoy drama or would that make her unbearable?? Off to see if this cookie pizza can be found in Ireland :o)
Ha! If it can, will you PLEASE let me know, because it might be the deciding factor in whether I finally take the kids there next summer. (okay, it’s not at all the deciding factor, but getting a cookie pizza certainly can’t hurt the cause)
Of course I’ll find out for you! 🙂 These things always take a while to market their way to Ireland. Hopefully it’ll be here by then. Come to Ireland!
It’s been far too long, and I really must get there. *sigh*
🙂
🙂
Ha ha, hilarious… You guys remind me of my sister and her 15 year old daughter. Feeling the lurve. Thanks for the giggle.
There’s another one!? I feel we should introduce them, but then they’d plot against us all. And by “us”, I mean humanity. 🙂
I can only pray my 3 year old and I can some day have a relationship like this. LOVE!
Because you want it to be so, it will. God help you, and enjoy every second. 🙂
Lovely banter.
Why thank you, FP! 🙂
Funny but …. my second thought was poor you. She has you wrapped around her finger, you are in so much trouble but then that is part and parcel of being a mum.
Seriously, right? I have a hard time saying no when you’re being clever and/or amusing. *sigh*
Seriously? I’m jealous! Sadly, I am that Mom…you know the one…the Mom your kid is mortified by; the Mom who has no sense of humor; the Mom who is sooooooo old she doesn’t even remember what it’s like to be a kid because it was soooo long ago! LOL…reality is I’m actually quite young at 38 years old, but I guess to a 17 year old, it’s ancient. One day, he will realize just how friggin hilarious and AWESOME I really am! 🙂 In the meantime, I will live vicariously through you and your daughter. 😉
Ohhhh trust me, most of the time she thinks I’m a giant lameass. It does amuse me, how funny her friends think I am…which of course makes her furious. 🙂 Cheers, fellow secretly cool mom!!!