My daughter, the soon to be fifteen-year-old, texting me from drama camp… Note: my daughter and I both have very similar senses of humor, and she knows I think she’s amazing, so don’t send me crazy messages about how we call each other names…we like it…it works for us.
Me: For the love of God, what!?
Caolinn: Pizza Hut took the cookie pizza thing from the Domino’s ad and made it into a thing and I need it NOW.
Me: Ha ha!
Caolinn: Mom, I actually need it. Please take me to get one and I’ll give you ALL MY QUARTERS.
Me: Define “need”.
Caolinn: Need as in I’ll die if I don’t get it. I will legitimately cease to exist.
Me: I’ll think about it, freakshow.
Caolinn: I’m not a freakshow, I’m a trendsetter, Mother, and I’m also hungry and it’s a goddamn cookie pizza. How do you not see how IMPORTANT this is!?
Me: Jesus Christ…fine…I’ll get you the cookie pizza.
Caolinn: OH MY GOD!!! I CAN’T EVEN…I’M SO EXCITED THAT I’M HYPERVENTILATING.
Me: I think when you get home, we need to discuss the impact that drama camp is having on you, and whether this is a good thing for you to be in, or not.