(Upon meeting a friend’s new girlfriend.)
Me: “Mehhh…I’m not impressed.”
Tracy: “How can you tell? You don’t even know her.”
Me: “I can just tell, she and I aren’t going to be friends. We have nothing in common.”
Tracy: “You barely met her.”
Me: “And I can just tell. Look in her eyes…I bet she knows everything there is to know about the Kardashians. She can probably name them all in order. Right now, she’s trying to figure out if Kelly or Kirsten is her favorite.”
Tracy: “None of them are named Kelly or Kirsten.”
Me: *look of absolute horror*
Tracy: “We’re not friends, anymore, are we?”
Me: *slowly shaking head*
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 