(Upon meeting a friend’s new girlfriend.)
Me: “Mehhh…I’m not impressed.”
Tracy: “How can you tell? You don’t even know her.”
Me: “I can just tell, she and I aren’t going to be friends. We have nothing in common.”
Tracy: “You barely met her.”
Me: “And I can just tell. Look in her eyes…I bet she knows everything there is to know about the Kardashians. She can probably name them all in order. Right now, she’s trying to figure out if Kelly or Kirsten is her favorite.”
Tracy: “None of them are named Kelly or Kirsten.”
Me: *look of absolute horror*
Tracy: “We’re not friends, anymore, are we?”
Me: *slowly shaking head*
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
I just (rather impetuously, without stopping to think) Googled them to find out what their names are, and now I’m totally regretting that move. This is, no doubt, going to end up on my Google permanent record.
HA HA!!! You better hope you don’t drop dead, or your family is going to find out that you’re into the Kardashians AND clown porn. I’ll bet they’re more upset about the former.
How do you know about the clown porn?! I thought that “incognito” browsing option was foolproof. And besides, I can quit any time I want . . .
Pfffft, tell it to your sponsor. 🙂
I just now tried to recall their names. I know they all start with K and I’m thinking one sounds like Cow or something. Oh, no, Khloe. *shrug* Whatever. They’re all gross. Can we be friends now?
Um, the fact that you said ‘Cow’, proves we already are friends. I think that, out of respect, we should call her ‘Kow’. You know…because we have good manners.