Drew: “Hey, don’t tell anybody you’re going out of town on Facebook.”
Me: “Why, I have a housesitter, nosy neighbors who don’t work, and an alarm system.”
Me: “Drew, what are they going to steal? The only things I have of any value are going with me to Alaska. Are they going to make off with my 80lb TV that still has a picture tube, or my three copies of Zoolander?”
Drew: “You have three copies of Zoolander?”
Me: “Want one?”
Drew: “No. And what if someone breaks in and isn’t looking to rob you?”
Drew: “What if it’s just some pervert who wants to…I don’t know…break in and jack-off on your bed, or something?”
Me: “Well, two things. One, I’m never giving YOU a house key, pervert. Two, I guess I’m washing my sheets when we get back.
19 thoughts on “I’m More Scared Of My Friends, Than I am Some Random Crackhead”
Did you give Drew the Blue Steel after you told him this?
Pffffft. I wish. He lives on the east coast, but routinely says he can hear my eyes roll.
Some days your blog just makes day. .. Love the picture!!!
Awww, thank you! I’m FINALLY getting just enough reception to answer some comments (fucking Christmas morning, it is!) and looking forward to a good solid day of reading all of you guys’ posts that I missed!
Sent from my iPhone
Your blog cracks me up!
Thank you, broccoli ninja!!! 🙂
Is Drew single?
Hatefully married. Lol
Hee hee hee… love it.
Lol. Hey, I’ll be in your country in a few days! (Albeit nowhere near you!)
Hope you enjoy it – great weather hereabouts right now.
During the hour I was there…gorgeous
Uh…when we moved to England when I was a kid, we left our house empty. Some kids broke in and didn’t steal a thing. They just jacked off on the bed. My hot sister’s bed.
I’m guessing that person was an adolescent Drew. Lol
Haha, we actually had a neighbour who had a break in with a pervert like that…ewwww!
Again….I think you should alert the authorities and point them in Drew’s direction. I feel he’s a one-man crime wave.
I will take that undet advisement