(It would take entirely too long to explain how this conversation got started.)
Ryan: Rambo III was the only movie I’ve ever seen, where I wanted my money back.
Me: For me that was Eyes Wide Shut. Never has a movie with so much sex, been so sexless.
Ryan: That’s because the only believable sexual tension that Tom Cruise has ever had, onscreen, was with Val Kilmer.
**And if you don’t think Top Gun was softcore gay porn, I’m begging you to rewatch the shower scenes. All of them.
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
Eyes Wide Shut…I inexplicably stare at the screen when it comes on. I CAN NOT look away. I couldn’t even tell you what it is about…I couldn’t even write a 500 word essay on it but I do know there are some naked people.
I literally couldn’t tell you what that movie was about. It was like the beginning of a serial killer movie, but then the murderer just forgot to kill anyone.
Sounds like a terribly disappointing serial killer movie…Although I’d still watch it.
I bet the just cast Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman in it, anyway,
Eyes Wide Botoxed…heh heh
So true, woman.
And now they can get married.
Love is love!!!
The only Tom Cruise movie I have ever seen is Magnolia, which was a brilliant piece of casting to put him in it. I can’t even look at him without hearing him say “Respect the cock!”
I missed that one, and if ever there was someone who secretly respected the cock…it was Tomcat. Sigh, Scientology…just let the man out of all his closets.
He played a character based on Ross Jeffries, the “How to Pick Up Women” guy. The part was written specifically for him, and he played it perfectly.
I wonder if it worked on Iceman. 🙂
You just destroyed my childhood. I”m calling the air force in on this one.
Oh, by the way, comment above about Magnolia – spot on. Great great movie.
They may have been pilots, but they were navy pilots! Air force won’t care that she ruined your childhood.
Apparently, I need to rewatch the movie, because I don’t remember shower scenes.
The shower scenes are responsible for a whole lot of sexual awakenings. They make the volleyball scenes look like child’s play.
I’m sort of dreading rewatching it now… I heard they’re making a sequel though!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yes my dear… Tom will be the instructor this time. The grizzled, half-naked veteran as it were.
Yes, but will he sing, again?
Trent, my darling…you know how sailors are. 🙂
They’re called seamen, Meggy my dear.
Excellent point, well made, my friend.
You know, now that you mention it… Yeah.. Between Kilmer and Pitt (Interview with a Vampire), it seems that no matter what Cruise does to shake the homosexual leanings they they are like a fog horn on the 18-wheeler behind you on the highway..
How much do you think they paid Katie Whatsherface to marry him?
Holmes? Or what about Nicole Kidman? I think it’s more money than you and I can imagine. And I can imagine quite a lot.
Probably the most expensive contract marriage of all time. And you’re TOTALLY right.
Extra points if you show Ryan that response and he gets the reference.
“No pressure, sweetie. but if you can answer this…you get to see a boob!”
Really?? You need to show boob to get him to do… everything?
Not generally, but it doesn’t hurt. 🙂
On my god I am sharing this joke with everyone I know!!!
Fabulous point well made 🙂
It was the oily volleyball…it made it happen.
Perhaps Tom Cruise missed his calling. If only he waited until the Minions came out, he would have been a star.
Argh. I’m so glad my kids are officially old enough to not care to see that one. 🙂
Alas, we are a society of visual self torture.
50 Shades is proof. Not because of the BDSM, but because of the acting.
Bwaaa haaaa haaaa! It truly worries me that a book so poorly written about a relationship based on abuse is the new standard for literature, movies, and life. And after such wonderful and desirable fantasy is realized, we have a media extravaganza where Nancy Grace on CNN convicts the abusive bastard before the jury can say, Geez, my lover never did that to me. I must be doing it wrong. Now, I am very careful about my appreciation of the color gray. It could reflect poorly on my dear wife’s taste in men.
So, for a moment, let us imagine the SAME story…but instead of a handsome billionaire, he’s a bucktoothed clerk at Kinko’s, making minimum. The exact same movie just went from mainstream softcore, to Lifetime Network cautionary tale movie. lol
Bingo! Every woman I ask about the attraction to this story goes straight past the sex to the money that flutters around the room every time the male character farts. My male friends always ask me what the hell 50 Shades of Gray is and I tell them it’s the book series their wife or girlfriend has hidden under the bed. Of course, if you reversed the roles, how many men would fantasize about getting a good spanking from a rich girl? You know that’s coming next, don’t you? I’m going to hate hearing about record sales when that comes out.
I think someone is already writing it…and you should sue them for intellectual property.
EWS..pretty much, worst movie ever in life!
THANK YOU! 🙂
It was a Maverick film, Meg. 😉
It did goose me a bit. 🙂
Ba-da-bing. 🙂 We win.