Fiat…I Want A Check…And Condoms In The Glovebox.


Ryan: The kids with their dad?

Me: Yup.  I might pull a Risky Business in a minute and do some air guitar in my underpants.

Ryan: Just don’t start a brothel in your house, or you’ll spend the entire weekend terribly concerned about an overpriced crystal egg.

Me: You just know his parents were at some high-end swinger’s weekend…some Eyes Wide Shut number.

Ryan: You mean where they wear masks, and could just as easily be attending a human sacrifice?

Me: WASP boners as far as the eye can see…

Ryan: WASPS don’t have “boners”, and they can only get them if they throw back a Cyalis with their single-malt.

Me: Thank God we’re just poor Irish-Italian immigrant trash.  Our people only needed a couch and healthy dose of shame, and it was on.

Ryan: Shame is Irish lubricant.  Also liquor, let us not forget the liquor.

Me: And the Italian side?

Ryan: Italians are passionate.  Any high surface will do.  Countertop…Tables…Hood of a Fiat…

Me: Back of a Vespa?

Ryan: I’ve heard you can’t get pregnant on the back of a Vespa.

Me: I think we just explained why you have so many cousins, Casanova.


31 thoughts on “Fiat…I Want A Check…And Condoms In The Glovebox.

  1. You have awesome text convos… 🙂
    Quite the coincidence that I, too, mentioned Casanova in a post – I should have clarified that I meant it more like – “(A mi) casa NO vas!” (You, Sir, will NOT be coming over!”)

  2. I’d like to know why the guy who takes Cyalis gets the hot chicks, the cool guy toys, the good job, and can afford two bathtubs. I’d like to know why these hot chicks kiss guys with reesty, scruffy 5 day old beards and why their mothers never told them what causes whisker burn. I’d like to know why you would call a doctor and not the New York Times is you’ve had it up for more than 4 hours. . . . My life would be perfect if I only had ED.

  3. Why are WASPs considered so sad in the sack? I’m half-WASP and half-Catholic. I haven’t noticed my WASP half holding me back in bed. I’ve had a f#ckload of steamy sex through the various apertures in my nightgown. I’ve even opened my eyes once or twice. Someday, I may turn on the lights.

  4. Doug in Oakland

    In my experience, having shame is preferable to lacking it. Having said that, and noting for the record that my last name is McFall, I’ll tell a joke:
    Q: What does Irish foreplay sound like?
    A: Bridget, I’m home!

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