And I Shall My Make My Chapeau From the Finest of Tin Foils…and It Will Be MARVELOUS.



***Yes, Ryan and I are obsessed with the NSA monitoring our texts.  We are clearly narcissists who read too many spy novels.***

Ryan: What was going on with Bugs and all the cross-dressing?  Was he based on J. Edgar Hoover, what with all of his spying and his manipulation of Elmer and Daffy?  He was OBSESSED with control.

Me: Oh, you totally know Bugs was into leather.

Ryan: Obviously.  Probably had an 11″ dildo in his nightstand, too.

Me: Well, don’t we all?

Ryan: I think it’s in the Constitution.

Me: Falls under the Second Amendment?  Right to bear arms?

Ryan: At 11″, it might be an ACTUAL bear arm.

Me: Ha!

Ryan: How does one purchase an 11″ dildo?  What exactly do you say to the store clerk?

Me: “You know…I just don’t think that 8-incher is getting me where I need to go.”

Ryan: “Here’s a picture of a bear’s arm…how close can you get me?”

Me: It’s too big to buy in person, one would have to purchase that item online.

Ryan: And you’d know this how?

Me: Logic!  Don’t judge me, you!

Ryan: Hey, no need to qualify the purchase.  It clearly isn’t for me.  Now it’s just between you and Visa.  And the NSA who is reading this, of course.

Me: Damn it NSA, I thought we were cool.

30 thoughts on “And I Shall My Make My Chapeau From the Finest of Tin Foils…and It Will Be MARVELOUS.

  1. Cary Vaughn

    What I get offended by is that all dildos 11 inches or so are black. It seems that even the deviant sex industry is racist. I’m not saying I don’t have one, but…

  2. Doug in Oakland

    Is it still the law in Texas that they can’t sell dildos as dildos, they have to call them safe sex education demonstration devices or some such horseshit?

    • I know that was still true when I lived there in the early 2000s. I know it was also illegal to own more than 4, I think? Texas REALLY cares about dildos. Like…REALLY.

      • Doug in Oakland

        Insecurities do you suppose?
        I read that in Georgia it’s easier to buy a handgun than it is to buy a vibrator… I guess because they think sexually frustrated women having handguns is a good idea? And I’m not saying it would be a bad idea per se, I just thought about all of the women I know and decided that that law would never fly here in Oakland.

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