And This Is Why Women Resort To Cat-Ownership

Linney: Dude.  Are you ready for me to be online dating?  This gem arrived this morning.

Me: W. T. Actual. Fuck.

Linney: Hefty.  It’s got…heft.

Me: Better than ‘girthy’?

Linney: Yes. Or ‘pencil thin’.

Me: ‘Slim-dicked wrestler seeks soul mate.’