Things my mother REALLY doesn’t like…violence, guns, tattoos, motorcycles, and men with long hair, so NOTHING about this conversation makes sense.
Mom: You watch Sons of Anarchy, right?
Me: Yeah. Why?
Mom: There’s a quiz online for you to find out which character would be your husband. (Sends link)
Me: Lol…okay. Mom where did you find this, you’ve never even seen an episode of that show.
Mom: I got Jax and from description he looked pretty good. Heh heh heh.
Me: Jesus, Mother.
And, mom…because I know you’re going to read this…a gift from me to you.
Please excuse the fact that he looks like sexy Jesus, here.
(A loud smacking noise comes from the boys’ room.)
Me: “Boys…I am tired of telling you that violence doesn’t solve problems. Do you need a seriously long timeout?”
Liam: “What if there was a guy…and his name was ‘Violence’, and his job was to fix other people’s lives, and then we could say, ‘Violence DOES solve problems!'”
Me: (death stare)
Xavier: “Dude…shut up…or the violence will just be beginning.”