I’m Convinced She Was Drunk…at 8am.

Things my mother REALLY doesn’t like…violence, guns, tattoos, motorcycles, and men with long hair, so NOTHING about this conversation makes sense.

Mom: You watch Sons of Anarchy, right?

Me: Yeah. Why?

Mom: There’s a quiz online for you to find out which character would be your husband.  (Sends link)

Me: Lol…okay. Mom where did you find this, you’ve never even seen an episode of that show.

Mom: I got Jax and from description he looked pretty good. Heh heh heh.

Me: Jesus, Mother.

 

And, mom…because I know you’re going to read this…a gift from me to you.

 

Please excuse the fact that he looks like sexy Jesus, here.

As Jimi Hendrix Once Sang…”Excuse Me While I Kick This Guy”

(A loud smacking noise comes from the boys’ room.)

Me: “Boys…I am tired of telling you that violence doesn’t solve problems.  Do you need a seriously long timeout?”

Liam: “What if there was a guy…and his name was ‘Violence’, and his job was to fix other people’s lives, and then we could say, ‘Violence DOES solve problems!'”

Me: (death stare)

Xavier: “Dude…shut up…or the violence will just be beginning.”