You’re Lucky That Make-Believe Bitch Didn’t Leave You A Check

Waking up the twins this morning…

Me: “Did the Tooth Fairy come?”

Liam: (incredulous look…reaching under his pillow) “Yes…she brought me…a Target gift card?”

Me: “It must be a marketing thing…she’s probably got a corporate sponsorship.”

Liam: (eye roll)

Xavier: (Under his breath) “Or she just got caught without cash again…”