In which I accidentally sexually harass a neighbor…



To preface…the neighbor in question is a questionably employed guy who wears threadbare undershirts on the daily, and who constantly hits on me, only to be instantly rebuffed.  He is, however, the only proximate person I know who has tools, so, ill-advised as it was…I found myself standing in his living room, on a Saturday morning, wearing something that he would probably claim in court was “asking for it”…

Creepy neighbor: “What about this one?” (holding up a screwdriver)

Me: “No, I need a bigger one.”

Creepy neighbor: “Like this?”

Me: “No, I want one that has a fatter head, not one that’s longer.”

Creepy neighbor: (raised eyebrows)

Me: “Yeah, I heard that, too, as it came out of my mouth.”

Creepy neighbor: (smirking)

Me: “Oh.  My.  God.  Just give me the tool, okay?”

Creepy neighbor: “Heh.  Heh.  Heh.”

Me: (facepalm)