They Don’t Make Enough Soap To Deal With This.


Bobby: “Miss M, Miss M, I got a tattoo!”

Me: “Seriously?”  (sigh)  “Let me see it.”

Bobby: (lifts pant leg, where he has “MOB” on his thigh)

Me: “MOB?  Like the Mob?  Like you’re a mobster?”

Bobby: “No, it’s ‘M. O. B.’  It stands for ‘Money Over Bitches’.”

Me: (pause) “Bobby…you don’t have any money…or bitches.”

Bobby: “Yeah, but I’m going to get things.”

Me: “If by ‘things’, you mean hepatitis, then, yes, you are going to get things.”

***Let’s not even get started on the fact that Bobby is a 14-year-old freshman, or that he got this tattoo from some dude he met at the park.  And, yes, I called his mother, and no, she didn’t care.  Sigh…

Dear White Supremacist On the Corner of 27th and Northern,



While the rest of us realize that, yes, it is hotter than the surface of the sun…we citizens, collectively, would like you to consider putting your shirt back on. Yes, you spent a tremendous amount of money on your ink, or at least traded a few cartons of ciggies for that wonderous “White Pride” one on your back, but honestly, how much warmer were you with that stained tanktop, I see you holding? Perhaps, you were displeased with the way that the frayed hem covered the 10″ Bowie knife you have holstered on the back of your denim cut-offs? As a point of curiosity, were you planning on trekking into the Amazon sometime after you left the Smokes-4-Less? I would certainly hope so, because, I know this neighborhood…and even the preschoolers are more heavily armed than you are.

Before I bid you adieu, one last thought… While I understand that you feel that you are superior to all those pesky non-white folks, you should note that you are, in fact, walking in a neighborhood that is less “white-meth-head”, and more, shall we say…colorful, so maybe skedaddle back to the Juggalo Club House before someone requests that you demonstrate your “supremacy”.

Bright Copper Kettles and Whiskers On Kittens!


P.S. If you are an example of a superior race, then we are all so unbelievably fucked, and not, remotely, in a good way.