His Wedding Registry Will Be Nothing But Maxi-Pads.

(This is what I have to listen to, while I’m trying to cook dinner.”

Xavier: “The dog likes me better, because he’s MAN’S best friend, not woman’s best friend.  What is woman’s best friend, anyway?”

Caolinn: “Tampons.”

Xavier: “What are tampons?”

Caolinn: “Mom!”

Me: “You got yourself into this one, get yourself out of it.”

Caolinn: (sigh) “You know how once a month, women bleed from their hoohah?”

Xavier: “Ugh, yeah.”

Caolinn: “Tampons help you, so you don’t leak.”

Xavier: “Ewwww.”

Caolinn: “Well, when you’re married, you’re going to need to deal with this.  Well, if you’re married to a woman; if you’re married to a man, you won’t.”

Xavier: “God, I really hope I wind up gay.”

Caolinn: “We all do, Xavier.”