Everyone Loves A Fancy Pussy


D’Avonte brought her new crop top to show me, which she couldn’t even wear to school, and I sent a picture of it to Ryan, next to a dollar bill for size reference.

Me: This is D’s new shirt.  I’m pretty sure it’s a size 2T. (Toddler size 2, for you non-parents).

Ryan: That wouldn’t fit my 7yo daughter.

Me: I know; I have bigger bras than this.

Ryan: I think Shadow has bigger shirts than that.  Not that I dress my cat, mind you. She likes to set her own fashion.

Me: Well, now I know what you do when you’re alone.

Ryan: Yes, it’s all Sports Center and picking out sassy outfits for my cats. Turned on?

Me: Yes, my loins are all aflame.

Ryan: Then let me tell you about their shoe collection…