I Wish Falcon Crest Was Still A Thing


My sons’ Spanish teacher has apparently given up, and the curriculum now solely consists of them watching Spanish soap operas.

Xavier: “None of us understand enough Spanish, so it’s just a bunch of gibberish, and then a dog runs away, and someone has an affair.”

Liam: “Don’t forget about the ghosts.”

Xavier: “Oh, yeah…and there are ghosts.”

White Girls Be Crazy.



In order for you to get the full impact of this story, you need to picture my daughter…the 5′ 3″, 105 lb high school freshman.

Me: “So…how was detention?”

Caolinn: “There was a small incident.”

Me: “Ummmm?”

Caolinn: “I was in the back, getting my biology homework done, and this huge Mexican kid…I think he’s a junior…comes and sits behind me, and starts saying all this obscene stuff about me in Spanish to the kid sitting next to him.”

Me: “Uh oh.  What did you do?”

Caolinn: (In Spanish) “Next time you start talking about someone’s boobs, make sure they haven’t been taking Spanish since Pre-K, you stupid little bitch.”

Me: “What did he do!?”

Caolinn: “He looked so scared; he got up and sat by the teacher.”

Me: “I shouldn’t…oh, my, God…” (laughing uncontrollably)