I’m Convinced She Was Drunk…at 8am.

Things my mother REALLY doesn’t like…violence, guns, tattoos, motorcycles, and men with long hair, so NOTHING about this conversation makes sense.

Mom: You watch Sons of Anarchy, right?

Me: Yeah. Why?

Mom: There’s a quiz online for you to find out which character would be your husband.  (Sends link)

Me: Lol…okay. Mom where did you find this, you’ve never even seen an episode of that show.

Mom: I got Jax and from description he looked pretty good. Heh heh heh.

Me: Jesus, Mother.

 

And, mom…because I know you’re going to read this…a gift from me to you.

 

Please excuse the fact that he looks like sexy Jesus, here.

Everything Is Better With Leather

(After four consecutive episodes of Sons Of Anarchy)

Me: “Huh.”

R: “What?”

Me: “You know this is really just a soap opera set in a biker gang.”

R: *horrified look* “A soap opera!?  What do you base that on?”

Me: “All the slapping.  Seriously.  They’re just some shoulder pads and a push into a pool away from being Dynasty.”

R: “I’ve never watched Dynasty, but I’m guessing that it didn’t have a fat hairy guy going down on two strippers on a biker bar pool table, white supremacists blinding a guy with a pool cue, or a guy named ‘Half-Sack’ constantly showing off his partially empty scrotum.”

Me: “Yeah…Dynasty could have been WAY better.”

(Six episodes later…)

Me: “Okay, I think we’ve officially watched too many episodes, in a row.”

R: “How can you POSSIBLY say that?”

Me: “Because I’m starting to appreciate the way Jax walks, and you know how much it used to annoy me. Seriously, I’m terrified I’m now going to be attracted to swaggering men in dirty leather.”

R: *switching channels* “Annnnnnd, Big Bang Theory it is…”