Sex and the Single Witch




(The following conversation completely explains why I’m single.)

Me: “I was at Hogwarts’ house last night.  Seriously, he annoyed the shit out of me, so I bailed early.  Alas, he WAS a Slytherin.”

S: “Bummer.  Glad to know you’re keeping your standards Gryffindor-high.”

Me: “At least need to find a fucking Ravenclaw…Jesus.”

S: “If you ever date a Hufflepuff, I will have to defriend you on Facebook.”

Me: “I’ll Avada Kedavra myself before I ever let something like that happen.”

As Long As He Isn’t a Slytherin



A lunchtime conversation at work…

Danielle: “So what’s going on with this guy?”

Me: “He’s from the east coast…vice president of a financial investment firm…super funny…smart….well-educated.”

Danielle: “Where did he go to school?”

Me: “He has an MBA from Wharton.”

Danielle: “From where?”

Me: “Wharton.”


Danielle: “I want you to admit something…  You’re only dating this guy because it sounds like he went to Hogwarts.”

Me: “Oh, totally.”