This Is Why Voice-Text Shouldn’t Be Used By Teenagers And/Or Drunk People.

This is what is happening in my house…because it’s just TOO HARD to walk ten feet to annoy the living shit out of your mother.

 

FML, guys…I’m screwed.

Autocorrect…Miracle, or Pentecostal Conspiracy?

Me: My gay far has been impeccable, thus far.

Me: GAYDAR.  Damn you, auto!  You should KNOW me by now.

Ryan: So much for Apple’s smart typing feature.  And all those people who end up with dick in their autocorrect?  It’s because I call people dicks a lot.

Me: Mine took forever to accept that I wasn’t obsessed with duck.

Ryan: Trust me, it’s worse when Siri does it to you.  “I’ve found 30 places for duck near you.”

Me: No, Siri…no, you didn’t.

Ryan: You’d think with hundreds of millions of iPhones out there, she would have learned to lean toward fuck instead, but no.

Me: Seriously, why so puritanical, Siri?  She’s like a grandmother…always trying to assume the best of us.

Ryan: She makes you feel guilty for asking for it.

Me: Asking for it?  What are you asking Siri for, you pervert?

Ryan: Ducks.

Ryan: And cats.  Sometimes I ask Siri for cats.