Guess I know what we’ll be covering in science this week…

Student: “I want a poptart.”

Me: “I wanna pony!”

Student: “Ponies aren’t real.”

Me: “Ummmmm…”

Yes, But He Earned An “A” In Being Hostile And Judgmental.

Sometimes the hardest thing about parenting is keeping a straight face when you’re supposed to be pissed.  Last night…I failed.  Utterly.  This was in Liam’s science test from his folder last night…
 

1. Lisa wrote the following entry in her science journal: Muscles are only found in the arms and legs. The main job of the muscles is make us strong.

Do you agree with Lisa, explain your answer.

“No, because that is the most [idiotic] thing that I have ever heard in my life.”

2. What else would you write about muscles in YOUR journal?

“That you have muscles everywhere in your body and Lisa is stupid.”

Calcite…It’s A Girl’s Best Friend.

I bet this would buy a shitload of ponies.

While handing out mineral samples to my 3rd graders for our earth unit…

Student 1: “Oh, My, God!  Are these diamonds!?”

Me: “Um, no…we don’t have the budget for that, and diamonds aren’t this big.”

Student 2: “Yeah, and if they WERE diamonds, Miss McMcerson would probably already be in her car.”

Me: “Would you miss me?”

Student 2: “Nah…you’d come back…and you’d probably have that pony you never shut up about.”