Fa-La-La-La-La…La-La-La-La

(Note: the kids just got home from their dad’s, so we did Christmas Eve last night.)

Liam: “So, what time is metaphorical Santa coming, tonight?”

Xavier: “And why did we decide he’s coming back 5 days late?”

Liam: “Rehab.”

Let That Stew, Kid

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Me: “I really need some Christmas pencils.”

Student: “You should just ask Santa.”

Me: “That probably wouldn’t work because I’m permanently on the naughty list for an incident in ought-eight.”

Student: …..

Sleep Well, Leibling

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Liam: (whispering) “Hey…Xavier.”

Xavier: “What?”

Liam: “Santa isn’t the only one who knows when you are sleeping.”

Xavier: …

 

The Only Exclusive Club That McMcersons Are Recruited Into, Has 12-Steps

Liam: “How does the Irish Santa look different from ours?”

Me: (mumbling) “He’s carrying a beer, and he’s drunk.”

Liam: “What?”

Me: “He’s wearing green instead of red.”

So…Santa Is Really Just The World’s Most Effective Stalker.

(While on the NORAD Santa tracker)

Liam: “Why is Santa spending so much time in Canada!?”

Caolinn: “Because he has to stop at every friggin’ house…because they’re all so damn nice.”

Shhhhh, Mommy’s Other Personality Is Talking

Me: “Hey!  Settle down back there and leave your brother alone! Santa is watching!”

Xavier: “Pffffft.  Mom, that’s not going to work, anymore.”

Me: “Why not?”

Xavier: “You know why!”

Me: “Xav…Santa is WATCHING.”

Xavier: “But you’re Santa.”

Me: “Think about it.”

Xavier: “Ohhhhhh….”

Liam: “Therrrre we go.”