Let That Stew, Kid


Me: “I really need some Christmas pencils.”

Student: “You should just ask Santa.”

Me: “That probably wouldn’t work because I’m permanently on the naughty list for an incident in ought-eight.”

Student: …..

The Only Exclusive Club That McMcersons Are Recruited Into, Has 12-Steps


Liam: “How does the Irish Santa look different from ours?”

Me: (mumbling) “He’s carrying a beer, and he’s drunk.”

Liam: “What?”

Me: “He’s wearing green instead of red.”

Shhhhh, Mommy’s Other Personality Is Talking



Me: “Hey! ¬†Settle down back there and leave your brother alone! Santa is watching!”

Xavier: “Pffffft. ¬†Mom, that’s not going to work, anymore.”

Me: “Why not?”

Xavier: “You know why!”

Me: “Xav…Santa is WATCHING.”

Xavier: “But you’re Santa.”

Me: “Think about it.”

Xavier: “Ohhhhhh….”

Liam: “Therrrre we go.”