As Jimi Hendrix Once Sang…”Excuse Me While I Kick This Guy”

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(A loud smacking noise comes from the boys’ room.)

Me: “Boys…I am tired of telling you that violence doesn’t solve problems. ┬áDo you need a seriously long timeout?”

Liam: “What if there was a guy…and his name was ‘Violence’, and his job was to fix other people’s lives, and then we could say, ‘Violence DOES solve problems!'”

Me: (death stare)

Xavier: “Dude…shut up…or the violence will just be beginning.”