Sure, He’s Hot, But He Uses “Vintage” For His Dick Pics.

Seamus: (Reading from his phone.) “This study claims that men who take lots of selfies are generally crazy.”

Me: “Ruh roh…having some self-reflection?”

Seamus: “Apparently, men who post them unaltered have poor impulse control and have a higher incidence of being psychopaths, but men who edit them and add filters before posting are just plain old narcissists.  I always edit.”

Me: “So, the only thing keeping you from being a fucking serial killer…is a sepia filter.”

Seamus: “I better keep editing my photos.”

Me: “You better stop eating your neighbors.”