It’s Hard To Discipline This Kid.

Just wait until I hit puberty, bitches.

(After I had to check the dog for a suspicious spot on his belly, that turned out to be a scab from scratching, and when I was done, he took off and hid under the bed.)

Caolinn: “I believe he’s feeling awkward because you touched his no-no square.  If he could dial a phone right now, you’d be in a lot of trouble.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Emerging from the bathroom after her period came 5 days late.)

Caolinn: “Well, I have some excellent news for you…I’m not carrying the second coming of Christ.”