2013…You’ve Been A Sweet, Sultry Tart Of A Year

This Has Nothing At All To Do With This Post, But I’ve Been Meaning To Use It For Ages…So…There You Go…Try And Wipe The Image Of Scooby Beating Off From Your Memory, Where It Will Haunt You Forever. You’re Welcome.

Friends…Lovers…People who just stumbled on this, and have NO idea why they made such a horrific mistake, and who are now rethinking doing so after reading this incredibly long intro…

I want to thank you for your support and readership these last six months. They’ve meant the world to me, and I appreciate the fact that you’ve not only tolerated, but maybe even appreciated my nonsensical rambling about parenting, inappropriate use of texting technology, panda genocide, and pubic waxing. We here at fisticuffsandshenanigans (meaning me and my dog…who has no idea I’m including him in this, but I own his ass, so he’s in, whether or not he wants to be), hope that you have the happiest of happy New Years, and that all your dreams come true in 2014 (your good dreams…you know…the ones where you get to fuck Jake Gyllenhaal, and not the shitty dreams where you fall off of buildings…and come to think of it, if all of your dreams come true…Gyllenhaal is going to be one slutty whore, so, please…use a condom).

If you get a second, we’ve made some changes (we being the dog and I again…he’s better at programming than I am, sadly), and we’d love your feedback on the new look. Unless of course you hate the new look, in which case, the dog says you can go screw yourself…he’s a mean bastard.

Wet Kisses And Dry Reach-Arounds!

-Meg and Sully.

Goooood Morning Oman!!!!!!

Me: “I’m looking at my blog stats, and someone from Oman has been reading the crap out of my blog.”

Tracy: “Oman?”

Me: “Right!?”

Tracy: “Someone from Oman is reading your blog?”

Me: “Italy, South Africa, Australia, UK, Canada, a few other places…but Oman is making a serious showing.”

Tracy: “You think this is a good thing?  Have you READ your blog?  You’re completely offending people on a global scale now.  People in other countries now know that you want to kill off pandas and have you have your bush waxed, and you’re happy about that?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Tracy: “Okay, but don’t complain when China stops letting our zoos have those fat bastards because they’re afraid of us.”

Me: “Yes, but that serves my purpose.  Just think of all the money I can save our country, that they would have been spending trying to make pandas horny.”

Tracy: “Yeah…you’re a national hero.”

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If you’ll allow me to nerd out just a little bit.  The fact that this blog has been read in over 30 countries makes me happier than I can possibly express.  It’s amazing how small the world has gotten, and how we’re all so accessible to each other and our ideas.  The fact that ANYBODY is reading this is rather amazing, but, truly, reading my blog stats, every day, and seeing hits from other countries…that’s a special little thrill.

Totally awkward and slightly too long hugs…

-Meg