Least Sexy Sexting Ever.



A phone call to Drew.  For those of you who lack ovaries and ladyparts…a Mirena is an IUD.

Me: “Hey, I have a question for you about my Mirena.”

Drew: “Hey, I deal in lungs for a living, so why are you asking me about your vagina.”

Me: *sigh*

Drew: “Okay, okay, what’s wrong?”

Me: “I started developing this weird rash, and I don’t know if it’s related.  It started on my elbows, and now it’s spreading to my chest, and it’s itchy.”

Drew: “Send me a picture.”

Me: “That is the WORST way anyone has ever tried to get a picture of my tits.”

Drew: “Megan…any man that was turned on by a woman covered in hives would fall into a SERIOUSLY niche market of pervert.  I’m going to show it across to the derm guy across the hall, and get his opinion.”

Me: “Fiiiiine.  But you’re going to see the bottom of my bra.”

(sends picture)

Drew: “I don’t think it’s the Mirena, but call your GYN.  In the meantime, Benedryl before bedtime, and hydrocortisone on the affected area.”

Me: “I don’t need anything prescription?”

Drew: “I’m not calling you in a prescription unless you send me a picture with a nipple in it.”

Me: “So, that’s a ‘no’ then.”