I’m Trying To Be Fucking Poignant Here!!!


unicorn rainbow

Me (having a rare moment alone in the car with Liam): “Liam, one of the things that I love about you the most, is your thoughtfulness. You really take time to consider things, and how they affect the people around you, and you put yourself in other people’s shoes.  I love how kind you are to everyone you come into contact with.”

(silent pause)

Liam: *armpit fart noises*

Don’t Look a Gift Boob In the Mouth


Smallest. Pasties. Ever.

Me: “Okay, everybody out of timeout and get dressed. You’re going to Grandpa’s, so I can go to my appointment.”

Caolinn: “Where are you going?”

Me: “To have a mammogram.”

Xavier: “What’s a mammogram?”

Liam: “It’s when you go look at a mammoth.”
30 seconds later…

Xavier: “Why do we have to get dressed?”

Caolinn: “Shush, Xavier, just get dressed…mom’s boobs just saved us from time out.”