Breakfast…Or An Animal Rights Violation…Your Call

Caolinn: “What’s for breakfast?”

Me: “Monkey bread. Made from real monkeys!”

Caolinn: “Grrrrrrreaaaaaat.”

Liam: “Wait…what!?”

I’ve Been Arrested In Places That Smell Less Like Poo Than This

This week I took my special needs class to the zoo, and understandably for the days leading up to the trip, they were filled with questions, but none more so than one of my students, who just CANNOT let a topic go to save his life…

Student: “Are the monkeys going to jump on us?”

Me: “No, I promise they won’t jump on you.”

Student: “Can we hug the monkeys?”

Me: “No, as I told you…you cannot touch them in any way.”

Student: “What if a monkey jumps into my backpack?”

Me: “A monkey is NOT going to jump in your backpack.”

Student: “Can we feed the monkeys?”

Me: “No…I’ve told you…we’re just LOOKING at the monkeys…nothing more.”

Student: “But, what if he really WANTS to come home with me?”

Me: “Honey…a monkey does NOT want to come home with you.”

Student: “So if I happen to bring a banana-”

Me: “I’m going to stop you right there… You will NOT, under any circumstances, bring a banana with you tomorrow…”

And then, the next day, in his backpack…this happened…

Clearly…his mother hates me.