Xavier: “I don’t remember this movie being so rapey.”
Liam: “Um, yeah…there are consent issues all over this thing.”
Xavier: “It’s like they think setting sexual assault to song makes it allowable.”
Liam: “Seriously, this is just a bunch of hillbillies kidnapping women they can’t have, only instead of a cargo van, they have a horses and a wagon.”
Me: “Well…so much for family movie night.”
***Seriously though…glad the consent conversations seem to be paying off.***
Me: We’re in Nassau. I just snagged beach access at one of the hotels. Which is a bigger asshole American move: Starbucks or a Piña Colada in a coconut shell?
Ryan: Piña Colada. Very ’50’s Mad Men kind of thing. Everyone does Starbucks.
Me: Good call. I’m moving here. Please come.
Ryan: Sure, there are newspapers there. I can add ‘Mon’ to a lot of my stories.
Me: Headline: Water Too Clear
Ryan: Sharks protest clear water, say interferes with theme song terror.
Me: No one gives a shit when they see us, Turtles cry.
Ryan: Turtles demand theme song to give swimmers night terrors.
Me: Turtle King demands unionization.
Ryan: Koch brother’s destroy unionization of turtles, and then take away their healthcare and access to education.
Me: Fuck, that’s scary. I need another drink.
Ryan: Drunk Americans…Are They Ruining Nassau?
This has NOTHING to do with this post…I just find it hilarious, and I’m too tired to make a meme about an ass right now.
(A conversation by Facebook messenger…)
John: “Jesus, have you seen the magazine cover of Kim K’s ass?”
Me: “I fucking hate her…how would I have seen that?”
(Posts photo to conversation.)
Me: “That CANNOT be real.”
John: “I don’t even care if it’s real, it’s amazing.”
Me: “So, to be clear…if all it takes to impress you is a circus tent ass, let me introduce you to my high school chemistry teacher…she’s you type. She couldn’t even walk between desks. Mind you..she’s probably 60 by now.”
John: “Yes, but is she single…”
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 