It’s Like Lord Of The Flies…Without All Of The Tropical Scenery



Me: “Hey, we just need to ask everyone what they saw, and then we need to make a decision about how we’re moving forward with this.”

Student: “I didn’t do ANYTHING!”

Me: “I hear you, but you were there, so we have to find out what happened.”

Student: “I’m not the one who tagged the bathroom!  They’re all a bunch of goddamn snitches!”

Me: “Um…just an observation…but if you didn’t do anything…how can they be snitching?”

Student: *death stare*

Detachment Parenting



A text conversation that took place with my friend, Maya, because of this post…in which my son gave a thinly veiled threat of cannibalism.

Maya: Come to my house.  You’re safe here. We’re all vegetarians.

Me:  I’ll be right over, but I’m leaving the kids behind…clearly, they can’t be trusted.

Maya: It’ll be like Lord of the Flies at your house. Plus side, you’ll be safe over here, and I have alcohol.

Me: Okay, but nobody better call CPS….be cool.