Meanwhile, Men Everywhere Are Just Hoping For Red Meat And A Blowjob


Ryan: “If you could get anything you wanted for Valentine’s Day, what would you want?”

Me: “I’d want for Jon Stewart to take back his resignation and promise to stay on the¬†Daily Show¬†until the end of time.”

Ryan: (Blank stare.)

Me: (Raised eyebrow.)

Ryan: “Anything else?”

Me: “A unicorn.”

Ryan: “Soooo…tulips and chocolates it is!”