Some background… My ex-husband has this funny habit of not paying his child support, and of canceling the kid’s health insurance without telling us. He’s a winner…it’s a wonder we didn’t last.
Tracy: “So what was his response to the email about the kid’s insurance?”
Me: (laughing) “That I wouldn’t care about things like the kids being able to go to a doctor, if I moved on with my life, and it was time that I finally got over him.”
Tracy: “Oh, please. You were over him two years into a nine-year marriage. Can you think of ANYTHING nice about being married to that asshole?”
Me: (long pause) “Well, when we were together, I thought it would be sort of romantic to keep a secret running count of the number of orgasms he gave me.”
Tracy: “Seriously?”
Me: “Yeah. After all…how hard is it to count to three?”
(I also deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for not telling him every time he fucks something up…which is all the time.)
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 