Going To Hell? ROOMIES!?

Proof that heaven is even more badass, now.

(A text conversation…)

Me: I’m in the waiting room for the kid’s doctor…  First, they were playing Michael Bolton, and now it’s Patrick Swayze’s She’s Like the Wind.  Now, *I* need a friggin’ doctor.

Ryan: Patrick Swayze should never sing.

Me: Well, yeah…especially now that he’s dead.

Ryan: Oooooo….

Me: Too soon?

Ryan: No, too soon would be changing the words to, ‘He’s In the Wind”.

Me: My turn.  Ooooooooooo..

And I Shall Sing The Song of My People…My, Apparently, Thrifty, Horny People.

Friends…lovers…we need to talk.  For those of you who use WordPress, you know that, as a blogger, they have a spectacularly awesome statistics page which tells you where people are reading you, and how they got there.  Now, either WordPress has added an analytics page, or I’ve just never noticed it, but suddenly, I now get a list of search terms which led people to this blog.  Guys…terrifying…truly.

 

So…I have a few questions/concerns…

1. What IS “labia minora fun”?

2. Scarier…”Miley Cyrus cover in sperm” or “Canadian singer Corey Hart cock shot”?

3. There’s a superior strip club in Murfreesboro, Tennessee? Is it the best because your sister works there?

4. Raise your hand if you’re surprised that Jon Hamm’s dick is all over this thing.  No one?  I thought so.

5. If you’re looking for hell…Google will lead you here.

 

Fun Fact: Satan Wipes His Ass With Penguins.

Student: “I want to go to the Underworld.”

Me: (incredulous look)  “Why?”

Student: “They have icebergs and polar bears there.”

Me: “Oh…gotcha…”