Han Solo

Probably Not The First Time Someone Sat On Han’s Face

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Yes, yes, I know…two posts in a row about fucking novelty bedding. It also should be noted that my sweet, brilliant, rational boyfriend goes completely ape-shit nerd when discussing some sort of controversy regarding whether Han Solo or Greedo shot first in the original movies. It has come up roughly three million times.

Me: Liam is spending his first night in his new Star Wars sheets.

Ryan: Do they make those for a queen-sized bed?  I’m asking for a friend.

Me: Yes, but would you really be comfortable getting off in front of Han?

Ryan: It’ll be the first time he didn’t shoot first.

Me: Fine, but if you start making ‘pew pew’ noises during climax, I’m going to be super put off.

Ryan: ..

Me: You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?

Ryan: Maaaaaaybe?

Hopefully, Han Won’t Be The Only Thing It Keeps Solo

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Me: “Did Grandma order you your new sheets?”

Liam: “Yes, I got Star Wars ones!”

Me: “Okay…well…I guess that’s okay.  It’s probably the last time you can get something like that, so you might as well enjoy it.”

Liam: “What do you mean the last time?”

Me: “Honey, you’re 14, you’re probably never going to have this opportunity to get fun sheets again.”

Liam: “Mother, I think you’re grossly underestimating the kind of adult I plan on becoming.”

Nerdery: A Tale Told In Two Parts…

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starwars

Maybe I shouldn’t have chosen THIS meme to discuss my son and daughter bantering with each other. I am a TERRIBLE mother.

Liam: “I just asked the Magic 8-Ball if I was going to be a superhero when I grow up, and it said ‘Most Likely’.”

Caolinn: “Yeah, well, if you get bitten by a radioactive spider, we’re selling that thing for a lot of money.”

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Liam: “I read that some scientists in Russia accidentally made a real lightsaber.”

Caolinn: “No one ‘accidentally’ makes a lightsaber, Liam. Nerds, everywhere, have been trying to pull that one off for years.  Trust me…that’s like ‘accidentally’ curing cancer…it ain’t happenin’.”