Maya: “Did you go out with Janie last night?”
Me: “Yeah, we wound up at Joyride with some pack of bankers and attorneys.”
Maya: “Good night?”
Me: “Well, if the mark of a good night is a grown woman climbing through her doggy door to get home…then it was a fucking great night.”
Maya: “Annnnd, this is why I don’t go out with you guys.”
(For the record…it wasn’t me, because there’s no way I’d fit through a dog door built for a Sheltie.)
As I put on hand sanitizer…
Student: “You smell good. You smell like my mom.”
Sanitizer scent…Island Margarita.
Student: “Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack, ‘cuz when I leave for the night, I ain’t comin’ back.”
Me: “STOP SINGING THAT SONG!”
Student: “Because it’s about drinking?”
Me: “No, because Ke$ha sucks.”
All of the following have been found in the last week, in the 2nd grade reading level area…
First we have the subtle…
Then, the not so subtle…
And, finally, we have the coup de grace…my personal favorite…
Nate the Great, indeed, and who DOESN’T love a happy ending?
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 