If Only the Powerball Offered a Manticore…



As you may or may not know, I work with children with severe emotional and behavioral disorders.  Almost daily, someone will tell me that they have no idea how I do my job, and I tell them that I *LOVE* my job.  My kids are the absolute best…they just need more care and understanding to get through a day.  Today, I was reminded, in spades, just how lucky I am, to do what I do.

(After I drew names out of the bucket to see who would get a special privilege this afternoon…)

Kid: “Yes! I crossed my fingers, and I won! It works!”

Me: “Hey, next time you decide to cross your fingers, think about me winning something.”

Kid: “I’m going to cross my fingers and hope Miss McMcerson gets a rainbow-farting unicorn.”

Me: “Awesome….maybe cash, though?”

Kid: *look of absolute disdain*  “Cash can’t buy a rainbow-farting unicorn.”

Me: “Touche.”

It’s Hard To Discipline This Kid.


Just wait until I hit puberty, bitches.

(After I had to check the dog for a suspicious spot on his belly, that turned out to be a scab from scratching, and when I was done, he took off and hid under the bed.)

Caolinn: “I believe he’s feeling awkward because you touched his no-no square.  If he could dial a phone right now, you’d be in a lot of trouble.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Emerging from the bathroom after her period came 5 days late.)

Caolinn: “Well, I have some excellent news for you…I’m not carrying the second coming of Christ.”