Wait, Wait, Wait…Aren’t You A Teacher’s Kid? Have I Taught You NOTHING!?

Caolinn: “My chemistry teacher loves me, and I don’t know why.”

Me: “Why do you think she loves you?”

Caolinn: “Because she sat me in the front row and she always asks me questions.”

Me: (incredulous look)

Caolinn: “What?”

Me: “I love that you think that means she loves you.”

Better Living Through Chemistry

Note: You don’t have to tell me that you’re off your meds…I already know because I’m psychic…and because I’m a brilliant behavioral analyst with years of experience and training….and also because you’re doing cartwheels while barking.