(Getting back in the car.)
Me: “You totally drank some of my iced tea, didn’t you?”
Caolinn: “I did it in front of you, before you got out of the car.”
Me: “I hate when you do that. You know I don’t like people drinking from my drink.”
Caolinn: “Would you prefer that I did it behind your back?”
Me: “I’d prefer that you didn’t drink my stuff at all.”
Caolinn: “Well…I think we both know that’s not going to happen.”
Me: Do you think the NSA reads our conversations?
Ryan: They do if they’re tired of tracking ISIS. Yup, we’ve typed ISIS…now they’re totally listening.
Me: Maybe if we’re lucky they’ll chime in on our debate over page 55 of The Joy of Sex, and add their two cents about the merits of armpit licking.
Ryan: I’m sure any fucking the federal government does, occurs in a “very uncomfortable place”.
Me: Especially the IRS. They’re the WORST. No foreplay at all.
Ryan: The IRS won’t even buy you dinner. They make you foot the bill, and THEN tell you it’s not a business deduction.
Me: What would be the WORST government agency to have sex with?
Ryan: CDC…for obvious reasons.
***For my non-American friends… NSA-National Security Administration, IRS-Internal Revenue Service (read: taxes), CDC-Centers for Disease Control