So, just before Christmas, we found ourselves adopted by yet another cat. This time, by a giant boy who was dumped outside a friend’s business, and who was desperate to be taken home by just about anyone, so we fit his bill. We love him…which is good, because he’s frankly a mischievous pain in the ass.
Me: So, guess what we found when we got home. tonight?
Ryan: Oh, no, he finally figured out how to open the drawers.
As you may know, we’ve unexpectedly become cat owners, which has been pretty fine for us, but integrating Sully, the dog, has been a little more harrowing, and I’ve been getting a lot of advice on the matter from friends, who are probably REALLY tired of dealing with my stupidity on the subject.
Me: Best day ever!
Me: He licked the kitty!!! HE LICKED THE KITTY!!!
Tracy: Before I respond, can we clarify something. Are you talking about your animals…or is this about you and Ryan?
Me: The animals.
Tracy: Sigh. This conversation just got 100% more boring.
Guys…last night we found a young cat who appears stray, just as a dust storm was coming…soooo, now, I seem to own a cat. While I’ve certainly been around cats, I’ve never even considered owning one, so this creature in my house, is no less baffling and exotic to me, as if I had taken in a fully grown Rhino.
I apologize for what will surely be WEEKS of cat posts.
Me: Guess who didn’t sleep a wink last night! (Note: there may be more than one correct answer.)
Ryan: I’m guessing the cat, your daughter, and YOU!
Me: DING! DING! DING!
Ryan: Yay! I win! What’s my prize?
Me: A cat!!!
Ryan: I’d like an opportunity to change my answer.
Yes this is real, and I took it. Right before I burst into flames.
So, the only thing worse than surviving a week-long, record breaking heatwave in Phoenix…is having your air conditioning die right in the middle of it. Four days and three repairmen later…we’re finally back in our house.
Me: I’m no longer a vagrant!
Ryan: Yea! Did you lower the thermostat to 72, just because you can?
Me: The house is finally down to 84, I’m trying not to push it too fast.
Ryan: I had a brand new unit go out once, and the house got up to 95. The cats weren’t happy.
Me: I’m guessing because the fur?
Ryan: I tried to get them wet, but they didn’t like it.
Me: I’m gonna go ahead and let you reread that last sentence to yourself.
Ryan: I haven’t read much from him since It. I was like, that’s it. That’s as good as it’s ever going to get.
Me: I didn’t read that one.
Ryan: A clown. That’s all I’m saying. Makes Poltergeist look like a kid’s movie.
Me: No…no…definitely not. I was scared of them before, so that would NOT help.
Ryan: No. Definitely not. Clown-centered. Evil clown. Very bad clown.
Me: I’m pretty sure that ^^^ was the movie’s tagline.
Ryan: And the movie…imagine Tim Curry in clown makeup, chasing kids.
Me: I’m not going to sleep tonight, and I blame you.
Ryan: You? I’m already double-checking my closets. At least you have Sully who will bark at the clown. What do I have? Cats. Cats are useless. The only thing they’re good for is eating my corpse after the clown gets me.