You Have Your Place Of Worship, And I Have Mine…And Mine Has Churros

It should come as no surprise that Ryan and I are lapsed Catholics.  I’m 90% sure if we stepped across the threshold of a church, that flames would erupt.

Ryan: You going to church?

Me: Why would I go to church?  In the middle of the week?

Ryan: It’s Ash Wednesday.

Me: Ohhhhhhh…that.  No, I don’t want schmutz on my head.  I’m going to Costco, though.  Need anything?

Ryan: Costco instead of church.  What would Jesus say?

Me: He’d say ‘Don’t buy the giant thing of chicken salad, again, you’ll never finish it.’.

Ryan: What would your grandmother say?

Me: She’d say I was going to hell…and to ignore Jesus and get the chicken salad, so she can score half of it.

 

Dogma and Horsema

Bareback Mountain, indeed.

J: “Where are you headed?”

Me: “District office.”

J: “May the force be with you.”

Me: “And also with you.”

J: “You’re like a goddamn Episcopal Jedi.”

Me: “Episcopal?  Try Catholic.”

J: “Oh.  Extra guilt.”

Me: “Yes, but we are also required to exclusively bareback, so that’s a plus.”

J: “I’m pretty sure that’s not what they’ve been teaching you.”

Me: “Agree to disagree.”

(Note: If you type “bareback” into google images…you rarely get a picture involving horses.  Even if you type in “bareback horses”.  )