The Gift That Keeps On Giving. (No, Not Herpes.)


Whilst passing a large display of novelty blankets being hocked on the corner of a busy intersection, with a sign that said, “Just In Time For Christmas.”

Are those Benjamins even correct to the time period of when that movie was filmed?  I'm calling shenanigans on this one!

Are those Benjamins even correct to the time period of when that movie was filmed? I’m calling shenanigans on this one!

Me: “Ooooo, I totally know what I’m getting you for Christmas.”

Caolinn: “Is it wrong that I sort of really want the one of the two unicorns frolicking?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that one was inspired by more drug use than the one of Bob Marley smoking.”

Caolinn: “Well, at least it’s better than the one of the girl with the marijuana leaves in places they shouldn’t be.”

Me: “Caol…”

Caolinn: “Yeah…”

Me: “”Is there a legitimate place where marijuana leaves SHOULD be?”

Caolinn: “According to you, they SHOULD be with the two unicorns frolicking.”

Me: “I love Christmas.”

Caolinn: “Me, too.  Happy birthday, Jesus.”

Let’s Hope That’s the Only Thing Exploding.



As I make chicken and rice for the dog…not because I’m an awesome dog mom that custom makes his food, but because we’re out of dog food, and I’m too tired to go to Target…

Caolinn: “What are you cooking him?”

Me: “Rice and chicken.”

Caolinn: “Rice!?  Can he eat rice!?”

Me: “Rice is one of the main ingredients in his normal food…and he’s a dog…dogs are supposed to survive on rodents and twigs, in the wild.”

Caolinn: “Won’t rice make him explode?”

Me: “He’s not a friggin’ seagull, Caol.”

Caolinn: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Am I sure that the dog isn’t a seagull?  Yes…I’m sure the dog isn’t a seagull.  Are you sure you’re in the gifted program?”

Caolinn: *eye roll* “I can’t wait to go to college.”

Me: “Make sure to major in zoology.  Lesson one…dogs don’t have wings.”

Caolinn: *sigh*