Megan McMcerson…Internet Cautionary Tale

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Yup…this is how that date would go.

About a year ago, someone with a traditionally female name, who went to my high school, added me on Facebook.  We had 30 friends in common…I stupidly accepted.  They only had pictures of dogs, and never interacted with me in ANY way, so, frankly, I forgot they were in my friend list.  Then, out of nowhere, this person, who, as it turns out is a guy, starts posting come-ons on my Facebook wall, in front of God and everyone (read: my mother).  Obviously, this resulted in deletions and un-friending, but…that still didn’t get through to him, apparently.

Tracy: “Did you block that idiot?”

Me: “Yes, but first he tried to re-add me twice, and when I deleted them, the private messages start.  The first one repeats exactly what he wrote on my wall, and the second one says, ‘It’s okay if you have a boyfriend. we can still hang out’.”

Tracy: “What the fuck!?”

Me: “Right?  I’m going to take that bait?”

Tracy: (laughing) “I think you should..it’s good to make new friends.”

Me: “Oh, God…I can’t wait to have that conversation with Ryan.  ‘Hey, so, yeah, there’s this guy I went to high school, who I don’t remember, who has no social skills to speak of, who keeps asking me out, but he said it was cool if we just hung out, so…I’m gonna do that, ‘kay?’ Jesus, he’d dump me just so he wouldn’t be the boyfriend of a dead girl.”

Tracy: “Maybe he WANTS to be portrayed in a Lifetime Original Movie.”

Me: “No man wants to wind up on Lifetime.”

Tracy: “CSI?”

Me: “Stop selling this, please, either way, I wind up a skin suit.”

Tracy: “Hmmm…yeah…that.”