The Suburban Jungle

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Because wearing a sign of your faith on your thong was just taking things TOO far...

Because wearing a sign of your faith on your thong was just taking things TOO far…

(A conversation with one of my single, straight, male friends…)

Me: “Dude, parent pickup is getting crazy.  It’s like prison-rules out here.”

John: “Are people sagging their pants?”

Me: “What?  No…I live in a really good neighborhood.”

John: “Well, if they’re not sagging their pants, it’s not like prison at all.  Although, if they WERE sagging their pants, they would be advertising that they’re after something more than just picking up their kids.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that when you’re at parent-pickup with a halter top, breast implants, two pounds of make-up, five-inch heels, and skin-tight jeans with ten-pounds of rhinestones on the ass, that you’re communicating that you’re JUST as available for butt sex, as any given prison inmate.”

John: “Where do your kids go to school again?”

Me: “I’m not telling you, now, pervert.”