I Know…I Shouldn’t Be Feeding This Behavior.



Whence your 16-year-old texts you from class…

Caolinn: Can I get my belly button pierced next winter?  Pleeeeeease?

Me: Shouldn’t you be in class?  WTH is going on at that school?

Caolinn: I’m in choir.  It’s a joke class.

Me: Well, I think we’ve established why you have a B.

Caolinn: She’s literally spelling out choir terms.  She just spelled singing.  Would you be mad if I jumped out a second story window to get out of this, because she just spelled ‘choir’?

Me: They’re your legs, but I’m not wiping your ass for you, so take that into consideration.

Caolinn: She just spelled ‘soprano’.  WTF!?

Me: Mark my words…’alto’ is next.  Wait for it.

Caolinn: Winner!

Me: I think we can agree that no one is winning in this scenario.

Caolinn: Truth.

Clearly, I’m The Inmate Running The Asylum


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The day before Halloween, I came to work wearing a long black skirt with a black top, but wasn’t really wearing anything ‘costumey’.

Me: (Walking into another teacher’s packed classroom to get something off the printer.)

Student: “What are YOU supposed to be?”

Me: “Your mom.”

Entire Class: “Oooooooooo….”