I’m One Vial Of Lion’s Sperm From Making Myself A Griffin.



Me: “The real Easter miracle this year?  My neighbor found the last egg today by our fence.  One more day and it would have hatched a basilisk.”

Drew: “Wait…don’t you cook those eggs?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Drew: “Well, if it’s been cooked, it can’t hatch.”

Me: “To be clear…you’re saying the reason why I can’t hatch a mythical, giant snake out of a chicken egg…is because I hard-boiled it, first…”

Drew: “I’d like to remind you that, according to you…the egg in question was hidden by a giant, magical rabbit.”

Me: “Touche.”