Me: Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan.
Ryan: Yes?
Me: (Sending picture.)
Ryan: What…the…fuck…
Me: Right!? This is a thing now?
Ryan: What aisle are you in, and why? Do you have something to tell me?
Me: I’m buying tampons, and these were right there. You know…for people who are blaming faulty sperm for why they still have to buy tampons. Can we discuss the name “Pre-Seed”!?
Ryan: Can we discuss that for just $44.99 and a handjob I can get 2,000 CVS points!?
Me: Halvsies?
Ryan: Done!
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
Oy! What a world, what a world!
Right? What is HAPPENING!?
OMG. 2,000 points? Wow.
Way more than I get for Burt’s Bees chapstick.
I just bought Burt’s Bees chapstick today and guess what I’m going to think of from now on when I buy Burt’s Bee’s chapstick? That’s right – handjobs.
My work here is done.
I don’t need any seed tested, but 2,000 pts!!!
What do you get for points? Does anyone know?
You accumulate enough points (you must have their ExtraCare card) and you get discounts off nearly all of their products. You can save them up for a large purchase (still only money off – no free stuff), and it costs nothing to join. Walgreens has a program like it too.
Damn it. I’m missing out. To the sperm collection!!!
PRE-SEED?! OMG I’M DYING. That’s the funniest name of a product I have seen since Dude Wipes.
Right!? I can’t even make this shit up!
really… WTF! 😆
I feel like someone needs to have a pamphlet available to explain this ENTIRE product line.
Yes please … 🙂
Wait…. In the Tampon Aisle? That’s a conspiracy to getting men used to the thought of buying them for those moments the wife/girlfriend/what-have-you refuses to leave the house because they’re feeling too bloated to be seen in public.
I have NEVER asked a man to buy my sanitary products. 1. I plan ahead, and I never run out. 2. They’d fuck it up and bring the wrong kind.
you say that now, but some after Marriage… the rules all change.. Besides it’s not like the 80s… The SO can call you in a panic about it. My friend’s husband did that with me in tow.
You forget I was married for over a decade. Granted that guy couldn’t be trusted with a grocery list, but I still would never ask a guy to buy them. I buy them by the case at Costco. Tampons for MONTHS!
I didn’t forget… I did assume given your children’s ages. And like chemistry relationships change dynamics of the couple. You might try to remain the same but new relationship… new dynamics.
I fear I shall always be a hoarder of paper goods and toiletries. I haven’t bought paper towels in at least two years…and yet, I still have a whole shelf of them in my pantry. It’s weird, I know.
Or with my family any day that ends in Y.
My mother seems to be the queen of… how shall I say this… preparations for the Zombie Apocalypse, World War III and the end of the world as we know it; all rolled into one. Shopping with her is like my morning turned into being a pack mule up 2 flights of stairs 30 – 45 times.
It never ends…
She’s my hero. 🙂
The pre-seed actually works pretty well. I was …..experimenting…… with a microscope and various lubes when we were struggling.
But did you get 2,000 CVS points?
We don’t have a CVS in Colorado 😦
That’s because they gave you the marijuana. They had to withhold something from you in exchange. 🙂
Ahahahahhahaha
That somehow reminds me of the commercials on the radio at the warehouse where I worked for “male enhancement” products, always with a “money back guarantee”…
Who exactly is going to queue up for the refund?
“Hello? Yes, my junk is still broken and small…please send me my cash.” Yeah, never going to happen. lol
Girlfriend.. you are the ONLY one I know who could find something like this to blog about! LMAO! I can’t WAIT to show this to my hubby!! ha ha ha ha!! 😀
Courtney! 2,000 points!
Wait the Pre-seed actually says Antioxidant is a benefit of using it? Hmmmmm all that and 2000 points
God, this gift just keeps on giving.