In Case You Thought Enemas Were The Most Embarrassing Purchase


Me: Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan.

Ryan: Yes?

Me: (Sending picture.)

IMG_1015Ryan: What…the…fuck…

Me: Right!? This is a thing now?

Ryan: What aisle are you in, and why?  Do you have something to tell me?

Me: I’m buying tampons, and these were right there.  You know…for people who are blaming faulty sperm for why they still have to buy tampons.  Can we discuss the name “Pre-Seed”!?

Ryan: Can we discuss that for just $44.99 and a handjob I can get 2,000 CVS points!?

Me: Halvsies?

Ryan: Done!

34 thoughts on “In Case You Thought Enemas Were The Most Embarrassing Purchase

  1. Wait…. In the Tampon Aisle? That’s a conspiracy to getting men used to the thought of buying them for those moments the wife/girlfriend/what-have-you refuses to leave the house because they’re feeling too bloated to be seen in public.

      • you say that now, but some after Marriage… the rules all change.. Besides it’s not like the 80s… The SO can call you in a panic about it. My friend’s husband did that with me in tow.

      • You forget I was married for over a decade. Granted that guy couldn’t be trusted with a grocery list, but I still would never ask a guy to buy them. I buy them by the case at Costco. Tampons for MONTHS!

      • I didn’t forget… I did assume given your children’s ages. And like chemistry relationships change dynamics of the couple. You might try to remain the same but new relationship… new dynamics.

      • I fear I shall always be a hoarder of paper goods and toiletries. I haven’t bought paper towels in at least two years…and yet, I still have a whole shelf of them in my pantry. It’s weird, I know.

      • Or with my family any day that ends in Y.

        My mother seems to be the queen of… how shall I say this… preparations for the Zombie Apocalypse, World War III and the end of the world as we know it; all rolled into one. Shopping with her is like my morning turned into being a pack mule up 2 flights of stairs 30 – 45 times.

        It never ends…

  2. Doug in Oakland

    That somehow reminds me of the commercials on the radio at the warehouse where I worked for “male enhancement” products, always with a “money back guarantee”…
    Who exactly is going to queue up for the refund?

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