This Is Why I Need A Full-Time Handler


Casual acquaintance: “Oh, we just got a new cat, too!”

Me: “What did you name it?”

Casual acquaintance: “Banana, because she’s kind of yellow.”

Me: “Oh, you let your kids name it. You’re so much nicer than I am. I want to let them name our pets, but kids always come up with such ridiculous names.”


Casual acquaintance: “I named the cat.”

Me: “Ohhhhhh…..I’m…..yeah….”

24 thoughts on “This Is Why I Need A Full-Time Handler

  1. barbaramullenix

    First cat I had as an adult was named Cat. Didn’t think I’d get more so what was the point? The older (partially feral) cat I have now is named Fang – for obvious reasons. Actually, his full name is Fang Psycho-Kitty Monster Mullenix, but that won’t fit on his I.D. tag. I suck at names – good think I never had children!

  2. I had a friend who kept naming her pets by their animal names (cat was Cat, hamster was Hamster, etc.). Her mom did not approve so when they got a dog, my friend was given strict rules as to parameters for naming. As it turned out, her mother did not speak French, so their dog was named Chien.

  3. Doug in Oakland

    I have a counterpoint to Lemon Drop’s story: A friend was given an all-white kitten, and decided he wanted to name it Shadow, but thought it would be funnier if he used the Spanish word instead. So he approached a Mexican construction worker, pointed to a shadow on the floor and asked him what the Spanish word for it was. The guy told him it was suelo, so that’s what he named his kitten. About a year later his cousin who speaks Spanish visited him, and asked him why he called his cat Floor…

  4. Naming of my cats has always been based on the poem by T.S. Eliot with three names. The first name is the one you give them. The second is the one they earned. The third is their secret name that can never be spoken.

    It keeps ’em guessing when someone’s over and they have a pair of eyes staring at them from under the bed.

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