Me: My mother is watching some BBC period drama on Netflix. The giggling and whining about dowries is killllling me.
Ryan: Have you even seen The Quiet Man? That’s my kind of take on dowries. Beer and fighting, just like God and the Irish intended.
Me: Well, I come with my own Waterford and a paid-off college education, if that does it for you.
Ryan: I have a box of my grandmother’s china and a baseball signed by the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates.
Me: I can’t resist a good baseball, especially when it’s been handled by pirates.
Ryan: Generally, I’m against letting pirates touch my balls.
Me: It’s the hook-hand, isn’t it?
Ryan: It is now.
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
I’d love to be a fly on your wall!
It’s a wall covered in testicles and rum, as it turns out.
Waterford and a paid off education? Those are rare things.
Right!? I’m like a fucking unicorn.
I tried watching that BBC show…what is it? Dowton Abby or something? Anyways, Julie banned me from the tv when it’s on because every time Maggie Smith would walk into the room I’d yell, “TWO POINTS TO GRYFINDOR!” She didn’t find it amusing.
Oh My God….LOVE!!!!!
Awww bless… Ryan needs to man up with all the bromance stuff I’ve seen of men his age in the 21st century. Well, the hook hand would even turn me away.
I don’t even have balls. and I’m not letting my theoretical balls be touched by a hook hand. Or a guy who keeps a parrot on his body.
Pfft… Parrots on shoulders are nothing. Look at what I had to survive; a male stripper with a gaggle of sycophants all trying to vie for the strippers’s attention. Where those mouths have been… And being so far up the stripper’s ass they could no longer smell the shit… Oooh, did I share too much? 😀
Girrrrrl, I just found three comments from you in my Spam file! What the!? And, you? Share too much? NEVER.
There’s a way to fix that setting (for how the spam filter works). I forgot how, but it’s out there.
Oh and sharing? Yeah, tell that to the people I work with. They have limits I tend to use as guidelines. 😀
Guidelines. Pfffft. 🙂
Honestly, if Willie Stargell and Dave Parker really want to touch my balls, I would totally let them. I am that big a baseball fan.
Here’s what I now want…I now want someone to contact one of those guys and see if they’re on board. “No, seriously, this is a great opportunity for you. You’ll be on the forefront of Pirate/testicle contact research!”
If they say no…they’re bastards.
I will take one for the team. I mean, duh.
You get your own jersey.
I would like it to read “The Trent” please.
Done!
I’d be afraid that I might catch something…
So true. Scurvy dogs.